octobra:

if you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off I will do the same thing to ur head

(Source: youtubeofficial, via averaqejoe)

do demons not have anything better to do than possess young white girls

(Source: slaygal, via my-final-farewell)

  • me when i eat fruits: i'm so fucking healthy

pixyled:

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

THIS POS T GETS ME EVEYRTIME

(via guy)

overblood:

long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about

(Source: flapwagon, via guy)

guy:

"you’re grounded!!" my mom yells at me. i’ve had an electrical charge ever since i was three. i’m now neutral and free

"at this time last year
i was a mess and i feel
like a mess again"

A messy haiku - jw (via avdotiya)

(Source: spittingpebbles, via child-of-dust)